A Conversation with Jeff Cohen

Jeff Cohen has been called the funniest mystery writer on the planet. He has also freelanced for some of the nation's most prestigious publications as well as scripting screenplays.

Jeff, are you a frustrated comedian?

I'm not the least bit frustrated. It's just that my medium is the mystery novel, and not the comedy club. I get my quota of jokes out there, but I do it with a little killing here and there just for a change. And no, I never had the urge to stand up in a club and try to get people to laugh. The performers who do that are a hell of a lot braver than I am. And as for whether I'm "the funniest mystery writer on the planet," let's keep in mind that the person who said so writes novels based on alcoholic beverages, and might have been doing some "research" at the time. I think my books are comedies that have mysteries in them, but they can be seen the other way around, as well. I try not to neglect either perspective.

Your work has appeared in The New York Times, USA Weekend, TV Guide, and the Star-Ledger of Newark, so you’re apparently a journalist who decided to become a novelist. How and why the switch?

It's not really a switch; it's a sideline. I still freelance for a number of publications (SOMETHING has to pay my son's tuition!) and also write mystery novels. And all the time I was writing for all those magazines and newspapers, I was writing fiction, first in screenplays, and then in mystery novels. I've never stopped thinking of myself as a reporter, even though I haven't really reported on actual news in many years. I love newspapers and magazines, and I hope they're with us for a long, long time. Just like books.

Tell us about your latest, the Double Feature Mystery Series. How did that come about?

The Double Feature series started when I was indulging a fantasy of mine, to open a little movie theatre and only show the classic comedies I love. I can't do that--I'm the world's worst businessman, and that would take a good deal of money--but a fictional character could. So Elliot Freed was born, and I had a new cast of characters to play with. AND I get to program the theatre, with none of the risk. That's the best part.

I can cram the Marx Brothers down the reader's throat (and the patrons of Comedy Tonight's throats, as well). Now, I can't force you to watch "A Night at the Opera", but I can sure make you wonder what you might have been missing if I do my job right. Elliot believes that comedy is therapeutic, that it is essential to our psyches. He might be a little bit more radical than I am (I have not spent every dime I have on a movie theatre just to show Horse Feathers), but I agree with him on that score. Groucho Marx once said of comedians that "because (the general public) laugh at us, they don't realize how essential we are to their sanity." I can't argue with that.

How does a New Jersey freelancer get into screenwriting? And what have you had produced?

Alas, I haven't had anything produced. I had a number of my screenplays optioned, and one got all the way to the president of CBS, Leslie Moonves, but he turned it down (to be honest, that was a sitcom pilot someone else had written based on a feature script I'd written). I started writing screenplays because I was a movie freak from Day One, and decided I had to tell the world my stories on the big screen. Unfortunately, Hollywood didn't see it that way, so now I write novels and teach screenwriting. But if a producer reading this wants to read a good screenplay, or (better yet) option a novel for the screen with an option for the author to adapt it...

How did your Aaron Tucker series evolve and is it based on actual people?

No. The Aaron Tucker series is not based on any real people, nor is any fiction I've ever written. I took my own CIRCUMSTANCES and gave them to Aaron because 1) I had no idea how to write a novel, and figured it would be easier if I understood his routine and 2) I never thought anybody else would read it. Who knew I'd get published, after all that rejection from Hollywood? Aaron began as the character of my nine millionth (it seemed) screenplay, but he wanted to tell the story his way--first person narrative--and you can't do that on screen. I wrote it as a novel after convincing myself it was just the outline for a screenplay.

Six novels later, I'm still waiting for that screenplay. But once the first novel was published, it was incumbent upon me to come up with more reasons a home-based freelance writer would investigate murders, so Aaron started gaining a reputation as someone who could cover crime, and got assignments that led him down a path he'd rather have avoided. In A Farewell to Legs, he looks into the murder of a Washington DC lobbyist because the guy was married to a high school classmate of Aaron's, and in As Dog as My Witness, he is asked by the head of an Asperger's Syndrome parent support group (who actually is the ONLY real person I've ever used in a novel) to help exonerate a young man with AS who has been accused of--and confessed to--the seemingly random murder of a man walking his dog.

Tell us about your latest release, A Night at the Operation.

The third book in the Double Feature series is the most personal for Elliot--his beloved ex-wife Dr. Sharon Simon-Freed vanishes just when the police want to question her about the death of a patient. And Elliot goes just a little bit more crazy with each passing minute. I think it will give readers a lot of insight into Elliot and the other characters in the series, while still maintaining the humor and the puzzling mystery.

I think the third book is when you can start digging into the characters more and bring both fans of the series and new readers into their world. I make sure the novels don't have to be read in order. They'll allude here and there to things that happened in previous books, only because people would, but I don't give away solutions to crimes, and I make sure the allusions are explained. I'm very excited about the way the characters are evolving. I've gotten a lot of emails about Sophie, the snack bar girl at Comedy Tonight, who takes on a new persona with each book (she's a teenager and looking for the identity she'd like to own). In a Night at the Opeation, Sophie's becoming the hard-driving student getting ready for college, but as usual, she takes things just a tad too far. I'm crazy about Sophie, and no, my own teenage daughter isn't like her at all.

Why was your foray into public relations “hideous?”

Because I was really bad at it. I could write releases, but I couldn't deal with clients, and if an editor said they didn't want to run a story about a client, my response was to go, "uh, okay," and hang up. Not the best strategy in that business. I lasted six months. That was probably about five-and-a-half months too long. As a freelancer, I can write press materials without having to do the "schmoozing" I was so bad at--it's why I ask PJ Nunn at BreakThrough Promotions to handle publicity for me and my books, because I'm really bad at it.

I enjoyed your guitar-playing video on your website. Have you played professionally?

Oh good lord, no! As an amateur guitarist, I'm pretty good. As a professional, I'd be a disaster. The worst pro could play rings around me without breaking a sweat. I'm content to play just for myself, although I would like to play in a pick-up band sometime. I've never done that. But the video was a lot of fun. It was a way for my son the film student and me to spend some time together over spring break, and I thought it was an interesting take on the whole "what-do-these-genre-distinctions-mean" conversation among mystery fans. And the only blatant plug for my latest book A Night at the Operation comes after the song is over, so you can skip it if you want to--it only lasts three seconds.

What advice would you give novice writers?

Try to find something else to do. I'm serious. If you can be talked out of it, you shouldn't go into this line of work. But if you're absolutely determined--that is, if you'd do it whether you were getting paid or not--then persist. And write every idea you get. Practice only makes you better. And don't write something because you think it will sell. Yes, you might even sell it, but it won't be your best possible work, and you'll be unhappy writing it. Especially if it's the first novel in a series. Remember: You're going to be stuck with these characters for quite some time. You'd better find them interesting, even if you don't like them.

What do you foresee for the future of publishing?

I'm lucky if I know what I'm doing tomorrow. The future of publishing? I haven't a clue. Is there a baseball game today?

Thank you, Jeff, for taking part in the series.

Jeff's web site: http://jeffcohenbooks.com
and his blog site: http://heydeadguy.typepad.com